PC Party Princess
And now back to our regularly scheduled party blog update, a continuation of my PC party themes entry from a ways back….
So on the Arabian Nights theme party invite, I asked guests to dress up, thinking veils, turbans, harem pants, the works. You know, “I Dream of Jeannie”-style kitschy, fun, right? But then I started wondering if anyone could take that the wrong way. Did I seem like I was making fun of the Middle East somehow? I asked my Indian friend Jay (a sensitive man), and he thought maybe it wasn’t, uh, in the best taste. I was reluctant to admit maybe I’d crossed the line. After all, weren’t some communities banning Halloween now because of its quasi-religious origins? Maybe we all just needed to relax. So I went home and Googled “offensive party themes” to see what the Web had to say about it. I ended up finding a post from some college kid who’d thrown a costume party he dubbed “The Most Offensive Party Ever”; guests dressed as Hitler and members of the Klan. His post was an effort to defend himself (he’d gotten in trouble with the school), but I had to conclude that yeah, maybe there was a line, and maybe I had walked over it. So I changed the invite to specify dressing as a specific character, rather than as some vague, you know, other. I learned a bunch of stuff about the Arabian Nights stories and about the culture and made regionally accurate dishes and set up a pretty amazing Bedouin-esque-ish tent. Still, I couldn’t resist putting on the harem pants and the coin necklace around my head with a scarf veil, even though it was pretty clearly a more Hollywood than Cairo take on the look. Despite my efforts to share cocktail party tidbits about the tales and pour generous shots of raki (a licorice-flavored liquor made from raisins popular in the Middle East), I’m pretty sure at least one friend wasn’t entirely comfortable with the whole thing. It sort of sucked some of the fun out of the evening, worrying about this stuff. In a way, I mourn the loss of the ability to wholeheartedly embrace the exotic (is it okay to use the word “exotic” here?) without totally knowing what you’re doing…but on the other hand, I do kinda get it. No one wants to be marginalized or to feel like they’re being made fun of, even if that’s totally not your intent. Sigh.
And then weekend before last I went to a birthday party for a five-year-old with, you guessed it, a princess theme. She was Jasmine, and almost all the other girls came in their own Disney Store costumes–Ariel, Belle, Cinderella, Snow White…. Let me tell you, if they had come up with this whole Princess thing when I was a mere slip of a girl, this Barbie-lovin’, pink-bedroom-livin’ little lass would have been all over it. But when my husband and I babysit, his inner hippie can’t resist indulging in a little counter-culture movement in the midst of suburbia. So he plays dolls with “Jasmine” all right, only he has her Bratz get ready to go to the awards ceremony for the Nobel Peace Prize instead of the prom. I appreciate (not to mention crack up at) the effort, but as I, er, mentioned, I looooooooooved that stuff when I was a kid. There does seem to be something intrinsically girly about girls. And maybe that’s fine. I’ll say it again: Sigh.
Math is hard (to quote a talking Barbie from the ’90s). But so is nonpolitical party-planning. Good luck out there, princess.
1,001 Nights, Now with Real Sand!
So today I’m on the beach in Santa Monica with my egalitarian life partner Kent and pals Ben and Dave, and I say how I’ve always wanted to have a party on the beach, but I worry that with all that open space, it’d feel dead, and besides, it’d be too cold at night to do it. Ben took the bait and swam with it, suggesting nearby Dockweiler Beach for the bonfire angle. Then Kent suggested a tent for that Bedouin appeal. And I was off, racing home to investigate local beach rules, price tents and measure tables.
Getting a beach house this summer and wanna knock the flip-flops off your beach party guests? Here’s what I’ve learned so far:
- Find out what time your beach closes. Los Angeles County beaches close at 10, so we’ll probably start the party at 6, knowing people will show up a little late.
- Investigate what requires a permit for your beach. On ours, for example, you need a permit for tents over 10×10′ and/or rented tents (as well as for a whole ton of other stuff that doesn’t apply to me–school field trips, live bands, etc.)
- Check out Craigslist or Ebay for used tents on the cheap. The least expensive 10×10′ tent I could find new is $219, but I found a barely used one on Craigslist for $95, which is probably cheaper than renting one anyway ($86 from a local party rental place) assuming they charge delivery and/or labor fees.
- Keep in mind that many tents available for purchase (as opposed to rentals) are not waterproof, so don’t count on it as Plan B for your intimate beach wedding or set it up the night before your party if an overnight thunderstorm is in the forecast.
- Get an easy-up instant tent so you aren’t sweating getting the tent up for one night. One disgruntled reviewer on Home Depot’s site complained that the handsome $399 tent he’d bought took him five hours to put up. If you’re anything like me, you’ll be freaking out quite enough about your party (particularly one like this, requiring Extreme Advance Planning and Organization) as it is without taking on a an outdoor structure building project. The easy-up tents tend to be rather boring and unjazzy-looking, but they’re also cheaper than the cooler versions and, well, easier to put up. Still, just to torture yourself, take a moment to drool over what your tent won’t look like. Kent and I so wanted to get one of these tents for our wedding, but then we found out that it’d be something like $10,000 to rent a tent that could accommodate 150 people. Oh man. That was a sad day.
- Decide on a theme. I’m thinking (cobra flute, please) 1,001 Nights, Now with Real Sand! You might also do a luau or a clambake. Hey, the world is your oyster, cap’n. Anyhow, for my party, I’m thinking ethnic cloth, floor pillows, Moroccan lanterns (which are only like $30 from World Market, dontcha know).
- Even if your beach doesn’t have limits on tent size, consider that the bigger your tent, the harder it will blow over. I’m not even sure a 10×10′ tent will be immune from beachside gusts, but Dave claims offshore winds die down at night. Hmm. I’ll let you know how that part goes. When we were planning our wedding, I looked into getting a tent on the beach and found one company wouldn’t even do it. The company we went with would (though we ended up going without to save $), but they charged a little more to add extra rigging for additional security against the wind. Granted, we got married in the afternoon, but still. When Kent and I went on Our First Camping Trip(TM) last September, we set up our brand-new wedding-gift tent like two little happy campers, left the campsite the next day, and came back after dark to find our tent–gone! We were camping on sea bluffs in Big Sur and when the winds came up they pulled the tent poles right out of the (sandy) ground and started blowing it down the bluffs. Fortunately a neighbor camper snagged it and stuck it on the side of our campsite with a rock on it, but let me assure you, it was not fun to set that thing up after dark. At least it didn’t rain. Anyhow, my point is, don’t underestimate wind’s power to blow stuff.
- Remember, most beaches do not allow fires. You can’t even have tiki torches on Santa Monica or Venice Beach. We’re gonna bring candles for inside the tent, though, and make luminarias to create a pathway to the tent. Most tents are flame-retardant, but still, exercise caution. Don’t get crazy and try to put an outdoor heat lamp in there neither–danger, Will Robinson.
- Figure out your beverages plan, because chances are very slim that you’ll be legally allowed to serve alcohol. I’m thinking about serving some kind of “punch.” Speaking of bevvies, many beaches don’t allow glass either. LA beaches, however, don’t seem to have this rule, so I plan to bring real dishes and glasses (albeit not wine glasses, since we don’t want to give ourselves away) to make the evening feel special rather than beach-barbecuey (not that there’s anything wrong with that). And also cuz I’m green and stuff.
- Decide how many people you can fit in your tent. I figure for a 10×10′ tent, I could fit my folding table and 10 chairs. But if I make it BYOP (bring your own pillow) and lay down a bunch of brightly colored patterned cloth on the sand and ask people to sit cross-legged, I’m thinking we could fit 15, maybe even 20. Don’t get carried away with your guest list, though, since the more people who come, the more you have to bring.
- If your beach doesn’t have a pubic restroom, you’d better have a house on the sand.
- Plan the heck out of the night. Remember that you will need to bring everything. Detail-oriented lists are key. So is borrowing a sizable SUV from your friend Ben to get it all there in one fell swoop. Serving foods that work at room temperature is easiest, though you could rock the chafing dish if you’re that sort of person. And if you are, I salute you.
Got any more beach shindig tips? Do spill!
Shindig It! 